I´ll admit it right up-front: I think Supergame is overrated. Everybody is talking about Supergame these days. How Supergame is the most powerful game ever imagined, how Supergame is the most well crafted being ever. How Supergame blows your mind. Blabla.
On the surface Supergame seems perfect, I´ll admit that much, but who would win in a real fight between the bestest games ever? Supergame has a Meta-Body-Mass-Index of 95. Let`s compare it to other games in that league.
Let`s take the most popular game in recent gamermemory, yesteryears “Dragongame” and compare it to “Supergame”. In Dragongame you had a big, big world to explore. It was fun. “Dragongame” lets you learn fancy Runes and shout your enemys to death. One of the mightiest weapons in Dragongame was the kettle. You could put anyone`s head into a kettle and have your way with them. Genius. And which other game lets you ride a pony which rides a dragon?
If Dragongame would meet Supergame in a dark dungeon, Supergame wouldn`t stand a chance, Dragongame would simply put a kettle over its head.
Who would win a fight between Supergame and Steamrollgame, then? In Steamrollgame you had a huge city to explore, Steamrollgame is also kind of bad-ass, that’s way cooler with the kids. You also could have intercourse with an easteregg. Awesome! Steamrollergame would simply steamroll over Supergame, sorry, Supergame you loose again.
Who would win a fight between Supergame and Crowbargame, then? In Crowbargame you had this really fancy guns, and you had to solve physics puzzle to get along, also Crowbargame didn`t talk so much as Supergame, Talking is a serious weakness in any kind of game, Crowbargame had also these cute sidekicks like that huge AIBO which would retrieve your weapons if you throw it to him. In a showdown with Supergame Crowbargame would simply smash Supergame`s head. Totally Awesome!
Not so super anymore, huh?
Supergame is boring like a boyscout. It also cheats. It is superfast, superstrong, superclever, superbeautiful. Give me a break!
Supergame is not a bad game, I even like Supergame, but let me tell you this: Supergame is not a good game to fall in love with, because honestly: which other game could live up to that standard? If I would take Supergame at face value, why even have other games in Gaming universe?
It´s also way more clever to call all the other gamecritics Heeps (Hype-Sheeps) to stand out in the crowd in my supercool furry wolf clothing. Believe me I have created the “Bulletcurvegame” and the “Bullettornado” game and they are way more fun than Supergame, they are also more “artsy” because they sold a lot less than Supergame, and now I´m making an “Oldfishermangame” which will beat Supergame`s ass. Buy it or this Blog will not only be a waste of your time, but also of mine, and that would be a loss in any universe other that one where I blow my brains out before writing this. And who would come up with such a stupid twist anyway other than Barbie`s platonic boyfriend?
You think I didn`t get enough attention during my childhood? You`re damn wrong. I got enough for all of us.
(Yes , Mum I already took my Methylpheniwhatever!)
Where were we?