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I found this question in my email:
"How do you stay motivated?"
This month, it's 28 years for me in the game industry. I started on the Apple ][ working on the Wizardry
series at Sir-tech Software, and I still remember the
great wonder I felt at seeing color on a computer screen for the very
first time. I remember creating a secure, locked place in the office
for a new IBM prototype machine, and going to shows where I'd see
Richard Garriott again and again, he with Ultima and me with Wizardry.
Before that, I taught myself to program on a VIC 20, and re-wrote the
movement rules to a paper-based game because the encumbrance rules
bothered me. I ended up re-writing the whole system.
So, my first answer in reading this question was another:
"How do you stay in love?"
In an industry where people burn out and the passion wanes, I still
feel as in love with games as I ever have. Maybe more so. It may be
perspective or age or an awareness of my history and what matters to
me. It may be that I am looking at something I've known all along with
brand new eyes. It may be a deep understanding of what brings me true
joy.
This is how I stay motivated.
I found something I loved deeply.
For me, games aren't my job. I breathe them. I think it's astounding
that I'm paid to make games and to talk about having made games. As is
apparent with Train, Siochan Leat and The New World,
I make games whether I am paid to or not. I can spend all my time in
the space of games and never run out of things to do, to say or to
explore.
There is an important distinction here, though. I love to make games as much as I love to play
them. It is not a one-way gig. I have made games all my life and the
process, the thinking, as you undoubtedly know, is so much different.
So many people come through the industry's doors with visions of
Hollywood hoping to meet their favorite star, but the play isn't the
design, and it's not the same thing. If you are thinking about being a
game designer, you should already be one. I was making games before I
knew it was what I wanted to do. If you're not making games, start now.
Just go. Screw it up. Make something terrible, but make it. You'll get
better with time, with mistakes, with experience.
I surrendered.
In 1989 when I finished college, I stood in Atlanta, GA facing a
certain, stable future with IBM after a very successful interview
arranged by my alma mater. This future, this path, was what I was
supposed to do. It was the path I thought I was genuinely on. When I
got home, I talked to Rob Sirotek and said I wanted to stay. I still
remember my words word-for-word: "I just want to keep making games."
For me, acknowledging the importance of these things in my life and
giving into my obvious passion for them - despite what the future held
- remains the most important decision I have ever made. There was a
tried and true path, sure, but there was also an alternate path that I
had evidently been preparing for all along. I chose the one I loved,
because I knew that it was where I was supposed to be. I have never
regretted that decision. Not once.
I find new things to fascinate me.
Think of games as a person for a moment. Where do you start with them? How many layers is your fascination?
There is still so little I know and so much I want to learn. There
are years that I wasn't there to consume what was released, and whole
genres I don't grok. There is a world to be explored, topics I've never
even touched, and conventions that I probably still hold dear that
could be broken for the new. And, AND, aaaand, as I delight in trying
to learn what is before me, games are all the while making and
revealing more. I think of all the things that are being written and
shared about games on a daily basis. I will die before I exhaust my
fascination. I show up, stay current, interested and engaged.
I play.
I said tonight that I am generally a ridiculously happy person. I
like to laugh and enjoy exploration. With games, I get in there and
mess it up. I let myself and my ideas go. What if? Break the mechanics
and try something new. Be inspired by the work of others, and be
comfortable in taking chances and pushing it some. Have fun and be
positive about it, even the stuff that seems like it's going wrong. My strongest lessons have come from my biggest mistakes.
Make fun of your own work loudly and mean it. Praise yourself, too.
Most importantly, surround yourself with people who share your passion. Motivation is a
reflection sometimes, and you will see it in the passion of others
around you. Game designers need other game designers. I think this is
the single most important thing you can do.
I stay motivated because I love games. And, AND, aaaand, it is no work, no work at all.
[You can find me on twitter at @bbrathwaite]
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Love it. We were both unpacking and getting started on a VIC 20 at roughly the same time I think!
All the years doodling on math homework, building plastic models of almost everything, flying balsa planes, radio control, ..then years spent in the military on the flightline, learning to paint in oils, finding out that people actually liked what I did. It still surprises me. You know I took the gift I have for granted .. I thought anyone could do it. Then the seminal moment, when tech combined with my love of light, color, motion.. hired out of a CAD Engineering degree program by Kesmai as Lead Artist on their online WW2 Air Combat sim, Air Warrior, on GEnie, before Al Gore 'invented' the Internet..LOL.
It has been a rocky, frustrating road at times. I *am* a 3d artist though .. I play in it at home, I do stuff just to see what it would look like, I play World of Warcraft and enjoy the adventure of it. I love seeing what technology will let us do .. I want my Holodeck! -grin- .. I am soo there.
-Frank P. 'Gray Eagle' Williamson, 3d artist, pixel cowboy and slave dog and lovin it :D
Anyway, is there some community, either online or otherwise, where game designers can get together and talk about their passion?
Then I left the field for 28 years.
...and got back into it this year, doing iPhone game design. It's odd, getting back into "fun for a living."