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Blogs

  The Art of Video Game Site Trolling: 10 Modern Ways to Be an Internet Jerk
by Mike Rose on 12/17/10 09:27:00 am   Expert Blogs
12 comments Share on Twitter Share on Facebook RSS
 
 
The following blog was, unless otherwise noted, independently written by a member of Gamasutra's game development community. The thoughts and opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of Gamasutra or its parent company.

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Internet trollGames journalism has come a long way since the widest of all the webs began, and with it, internet trolling has evolved too. Just as a species evolves to fit its surroundings, trolls have altered their strategies, inventing new and improved ways to make journalists blow their tops.

But what about those of us who haven't quite managed to keep up with the crowd, and are still using old insults taken straight from the average Youtube video?

Never fear: this crash course in trolling will have you up to speed in no time, giving some deserving Eurogamer or IGN writer a much needed kick up the arse.

Here are the top ten trolling tips for 2010:

1. Call the writer unprofessional

This really gets them going, as you are essentially telling them that they don't care and don't know enough about their own job. Adding something along the lines of 'I can't believe someone actually pays you for this crap' gets bonus points.

2. Quote a segment of the post, then tell the writer that he or she is an idiot

Quoting part of the post or review is another surefire way to get the writer's blood boiling. Every writer remembers putting each separate sentence down on paper, so by picking at what they've written, you're taking them back to the moment they wrote it, and forever linking your comment with that moment in their head. Good job!

3. When the writer responds to you, say 'Oh, so I'm not allowed an opinion?'

This is a modern day troll's favourite. Who does this writer think he or she is? How can they tell me that I am wrong? Of course, let's skim over the irony of it all - you know, the fact that the original post or review was the writer's opinion in the first place, and we're actually being hypocrites.

4. Look at the score on a review, then comment 'Reads like an X', where X is a different score to what is actually given

The fantastic element to this point is that you don't even need to read the review! Simply skim straight to the score at the end then, depending on whatever number is given, say that the actual text of the review reads as a completely different score. Telling the writer that they can't even interpret their own thoughts is fun!

5. If you spot a grammar or spelling mistake, come down like a ton of bricks

In this day and age, there is absolutely no excuse for spelling mistakes or grammar issues at all. If a writer has commited either sin, you should make sure that they receive fire and fury for it. Feel free to combine this point with points 1 and 2. Of course, you could always politely let the writer know that they've made a slight mistake, but really, where's the fun in that?

6. If the writer gets his or her facts wrong, don't let them off the hook for it

Let's say the writer, god forbid, relays an incorrect piece of information - however small or big that error is, they must be held accountable for it. Instead of simply informing them that they have made an error, tell them that it is their job to bring correct info to their readers, and finish off by telling them to do their research properly next time.

7. Say 'This site used to be great, but it's posts like this that make it crap'.

This really twists the dagger, hopefully making the writer question whether they should be writing for the site at all. Of course, as an added extra, you can mention that it is posts like this that are bringing down gaming journalism as a whole.

8. Say the writer's name, then say this particular writer is bringing the site down

Naming the writer is a quick and easy way to get their attention. Once you have that, you can easily give them sleepless nights. A great tip is to try trolling a particular writer on other posts that aren't even their own! Make sure to add that you're never going to read the site ever again, and it is all their fault.

9. When a writer calls something 'unique', call them on it

Now and again, a writer will say that a particular game mechanic is unique. This is your cue to scour the internet finding obscure games that have the same mechanic, then letting the writer publicly know that they are talking crap, whilst listing your findings. Of course, this can be combined with point 6 for great effect.

10. Tell the writer that this post is pointless or boring, and you don't care about the content

The coup de grâce. Letting a writer know that the info they have relayed to their readers is utter drivel, and no-one in their right mind would want to read it, will really get their goat. For the greatest effect, use it in the midst of comments from other users who are saying how useful the post was - that way, you can simultaneously troll the site's reader base too!

So there you have it - follow this handy guide, and you'll be a trolling extraordinaire in no time! As your first assignment, why not try this troll this very post in the comments below? Go on - release the troll inside of you.

[This has been a completely serious escapade into the world of trolling from Michael Rose, who admittedly may react quite badly to trolls every now and again.]

 
 
Comments

Will Wilson
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Tl;dr





EDIT: It feels...dirty.

John Polson
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How much web traffic do trolls and those who take the time to engage them actually bring to a website? I am curious if, writer's ego/time aside, trolls are actually a good thing.



Mike Rose is the worst thing to hit journalism; he spells lots of words like 'colors' with a 'u.'



Bah, that wasn't fun.



Anyone better at trolling?

Mike Rose
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It's actually a really interesting point - full on troll wars between the writer and commenters can indeed bring in a fair amount of traffic for that post, as trolls usually have nothing better to do than sit hammering the F5 button until they have got a response from the writer.



I guess it all depends on whether the site wants to gain that kind of reputation.

John Polson
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If my conjecture is valid, I wonder if there's an online service yet that lets businesses "borrow" trolls. I was surprised to find there were similar businesses to increase your twitter count. "That kind of reputation," as you say, seems to be just "business as usual" for megasites. IGN-like sites are notorious for the trolls, then I was told Kotaku's different, only to find tweens trolling there, too. I suppose those sites may have their own merit in HOW or WHAT news they cover.



I blame the parents! The Internet is the substitute quality time, and kids learn what's supposedly fun/funny from their peers... soapbox and poorly structured debate, sorry



Regardless, HALO-ish game makers are just as happy to have substantively devoid tweens playing their war games or filling up websites and message boards. So, should journalists be just as happy they have angry fans rather than none? People loving to hate and society bestowing notoriety based off growing ignorance/flaming is FAR older than the concept of trolling.

Jeremy Peel
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'I guess it all depends on whether the site wants to gain that kind of reputation.'



Rose is a fuck-head FUCK.



Uh, wait, sorry... I had a reason for the quote, just bear with me. Ah yes - I'd say that for any games site interested in fostering a community rather than simply attracting one-off hits indiscriminately from all over the web, troll wars are something to be avoided. I know that if Rossignol, Walker et al started spitting back at trolls over at RPS I'd probably have something of a crisis of trust.

Dary Merckens
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What an unprofessional piece. Michael Rose is a complete idiot. He's really bringing this site down.



It's especially sad because this site used to be so great, but it's posts like this that make it crap.



This post is completely pointless and absolutely no one cares about its content.

Mike Rose
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If you want a HUGE laugh and a prime example of what the modern day troll looks like in its natural habitat, check out the N4G link for this article: http://n4g.com/news/666259/top-10-modern-ways-to-troll-gaming-sites/

John Polson
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We should try to solicit TROLLS to take polls or answer questions about what THEY suggest would improve game journalism. If nothing else, the study would get a lot of traffic :)

Jon Wingrove
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Mike - if you put reviews out there, then people are going to criticise your work. You're a reviewer and you criticise other people's work constantly, but you can't accept it when people criticise your reviews in a similar fashion? OK, I see you're talking about the "extremes" of criticism, in fact, non-constructive criticism, trolling, or whatever...



If you can't take criticism, Mike - don't put your work (reviews) out there in public for all to see!



Having said that, I've read a review you wrote of one of our games and thought it to be well written and fair.. so, uh, good job.



Sure, some of it is just random trolling rather than criticism... but everyone gets trolled - games get trolled on their youtube trailers, bands, authors, just people on forums.. I don't think games journalists deserve any extra sympathy in this area! :)

James Kirk
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I say good sir. This was a well thought out and in-depth look into the mind of the common Trollus Majoris. One could only hope that luminaries such as yourself continue to guide humanity through these bleakest of days. We are all wiser to have been showed in your basking glow of greatness. I, for one, am humbled by your genius. Please guide us oh wise one!

Jonathan Jennings
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back in my younger when the trolls got the best of me , I feel that the most effective ones were the simplest ones. they would say something inflammatory about race, religion , gender, sexual orientation , or people of a certain nationality and just leave. You haven't seen anything until one persons post about american corporate greed or the hypocrisies of Religion X turn a modest topic about the best sleeper hits into a full fledged debate ......thankfully moderators on most of the internet are terrible so these de-railed topics are allowed to persist while I was once suspended on a certain gaming site for 2 days because I made a topic praising the increased use of the transformers war for cybertron board.

Matthew Anderson
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lol, good guide.



although 1) I've been reading game journalism as long as its been around, and it pales severely in comparison to other fields of journalism. No one is beyond reproach, but game writers in particular tend to have it coming.



2) "extraordinaire" is an adjective, used to modify nouns. "trolling" is a verb. should read something like "you'll be an internet troll extraordinaire in no time", or something like that. just sayin.


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