     |
 |
 |
 | | | | |
 |
|||
 |
||||||
          |
 |
 |
||||
|
Schadenfreudian Slips: Copy Protection Racket
Otto suddenly reached across the table and jammed his finger into Mr. Glazunov’s piece of coffee cake. Glazunov looked aghast. “What are you doing to my cake?” “What’s the matter, it’s just a little fingerprint!” Otto snarled, licking the icing off his finger with a dramatic flourish. “We have a saying in Russia that is translated ‘you are crushing all the hedgehogs with your bare behind’”, Glazunov growled. “What on earth is that supposed to mean?” I asked. “It means that you are foolishly overconfident. Very foolish!” “I think you’d better take your behinds, and your hedgehogs out that door right now, Mr. Glazunov,” I said, with as much bravado as I could muster in the face of what I believed to be a Quentin Tarantino film breaking out in my conference room. Glazunov stood up and thrust an accusing finger at us. “Perhaps you yourselves are software pirates!” “Man muß die Kirche im Dorf lassen!” I exclaimed. Or as you Americans might say, “Oh no he didn't!” Otto emitted something than can only be described as a howl. It all happened so quickly. The three Dmitris lunged toward us like an angry Siberian Cerberus. Mr. Glazunov reached into jacket pocket. Everyone except Otto dove headfirst under the conference table. You see, it was Tuesday, so Otto had his Heckler & Koch automatic hidden away beneath his sweater vest. He likes to go to the shooting range after work on Tuesdays, or so he has always told us (one does not question an armed man who knows assembly language). “YOU HAVE UPSET OTTO!” wailed Crispin. One shot rang out, and then…silence. We emerged from beneath the table, and thankfully, I found everyone intact. Our whiteboard was not so lucky.
The four Russians huddled close to the doorway, blinking nervously. “I think this meeting is over, gentlemen, “ I said. I shook hands with Mr. Glazunov as he and the brothers Karamazov hustled outside and into their black chauffeured Mercedes. He confided that although disappointed, he had a great deal of respect for us, and wondered if Otto was looking for any part-time employment. I think we keep Otto busy enough here. ConclusionIn the end, we decided against using any sort of copy protection on our games. After all, you shouldn’t feel you are being forced to buy our games. You should want to. And if you do not want to, that is really our failure -- not yours. But remember, every Schadenfreude game you purchase keeps Otto in ammunition. We could also use a new whiteboard. |
|||||||||||||||
Features
Previous
|
|
|