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Julius
Caesar, the greatest general of his age, pursues his enemy Pompey to
Egypt.
Arriving
with an army in Alexandria, he finds the twenty-year-old Cleopatra locked
in a power struggle with her younger brother, Ptolemy XIII. Taking her
side, Caesar conquers the Egyptians, kills Ptolemy, and makes Cleopatra
both his mistress and Egypt's queen.
Four years pass, and in 44 BC Caesar is assassinated in the Senate.
In the civil wars that follow, Cleopatra tries to remain neutral. Mark
Antony summons her to account for her actions, but is hopelessly captivated
by her charms. They return to Egypt together, living in ostentatious
debauchery. Eleven years later, in a war with his great-nephew Octavian,
Antony overrules his own generals at Cleopatra's insistence and initiates
the battle of Actium, which ends in disaster. Hearing a false report
of Cleopatra's suicide, he falls on his sword. Cleopatra, fearing she
will be exhibited as a prisoner in Octavian's triumphal march, poisons
herself.
1200
AD
King
John of England, a notorious lecher, sends envoys to ask the king of
Portugal for his daughter's hand in marriage. At the same time John
makes a tour of his feudal lands in France. While visiting Hugh the
Brown of Lusignan, one of his most powerful barons, John develops an
insatiable lust for a fourteen-year-old girl named Isabelle of Angoulême.
However, Isabelle is already betrothed to Hugh the Brown, a status almost
as binding as marriage. John recalls his envoys, sends the unsuspecting
Hugh off on a diplomatic mission, and marries Isabelle with the approval
of her father.
Outraged,
the Lusignan family rises in revolt. John challenges them to a trial
by combat in which he will not fight, but be represented by paid professional
champions. The Lusignans appeal to King Philip II of France, who is
in strict feudal law John's overlord, and Philip summons John to account
for himself. John refuses. It is the excuse Philip is looking for, and
in a series of wars he conquers John's provinces in France one by one.
By the end of John's reign his ungoverned lust has cost England a huge
part of her empire. After John's death, Hugh the Brown finally marries
Isabelle after all.
1997
AD
Bill
Clinton, the President of the United States and the most powerful man
in the world, conducts an illicit affair with a young woman on his staff.
Seeking to avoid a scandal, he prevaricates when asked about it in a
deposition for a lawsuit. The truth is revealed the following year in
secret recordings made of the young woman discussing the affair with
a person she had thought was a friend. Clinton's political opponents
in the Congress summon him to account for his actions. When his answers
are unsatisfactory, they impeach him for perjury and obstruction of
justice. In an almost purely partisan vote, he is acquitted at trial.
Clinton's behavior has embarrassed the nation, while his opponents have
spent millions pursuing him and accomplished nothing. Clinton's long-suffering
wife is subsequently elected to the Senate.
Sex:
the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most
amount of trouble. - attributed to John Barrymore
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